Avoid drinking heavily four nights in a row.
Girls, alcohol makes you do stupid things.
The sooner you learn this, the better. Alcohol turns good people bad, ignites this little fire demon inside you intent on one purpose and one purpose only: destroying your dignity. And I assure you, after four nights of the same, I am left with none.
I'm not even sure I have a single brain cell left, it feels like they've all shrivelled into dust. It hurts...
Honestly, if getting off with four boys in as many nights doesn't make you feel awful, I'm pretty sure nothing will. Four girls maybe...
Everybody hates the drunk version of themselves, I'm sure. Whether you're the violent drunk, the happy drunk, the embarrassing dancing drunk, the puking drunk or, in my case, the friendly drunk. Only friendly is an understatement. I'm the 'jump any guy whose available' drunk. They don't even have to be available. Alcohol turns me into a sex monster. A genuine monster. I'll snog anything that moves at the mere hint of ethanol. It's attrocious. It's even worse when the only people you go out with are your close friends.
I feel like such a whore. It's terrible, I've had to text so many boys the morning after: I'm so sorry about last night. Sometimes with the added sad face. You know it's bad when you have to add the sad face. :(
The thing is, I need a drink to relax. Not even lying, I need it. Otherwise I'm really boring. And I'd rather suck off my best mate in a field than be boring.
Did I just say that. Wow. New personal best. All. Time. Low.
I'm certain that there are plenty of other reasons why you shouldn't go binging every night of the week. Namely cancer, liver cirhossis, heart disease, brain damage, and risks of drink driving, pulling idiotic stunts, disorderly and violent behaviour, jail, need I go on?
But for me, the morning after is payback enough. Not just the hangover but the moment of realisation when it dawns upon you what, or rather who, you did last night. Nothing quite beats that.
Avoid drinking heavily, girls, alcohol is the devil incarnate!
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