Lesson #1

Never send angry text messages to your bastard of a boyfriend.
Especially when drunk.
Okay, so it might be fun to type out a graphically obscene text to the boy who just shagged you and then didn't speak to you for a good three weeks, but seriously; not one of my better ideas. Don't get me wrong, if this was How to live your life not giving a toss about social boundaries, saying what you want when you want, and generally giving 'em something to fucking talk about! then this would definitely feature!
Sure it's wonderful to call someone - and I quote - a fucking cowardly pathetic shithead knobbing cockweasel of a man, and yeah it's even better when you have a bonefide reason behind it, but trust me ladies, it will not end well!
If you've been dating someone for a while, and they appear to be a lovely bloke, then why not just leave it at that? If they're not talking to you it's probably because you told them you were going on holiday to Spain and they didn't want to waste their credit or minutes. And if you send that bloody text, they will avoid you indefinitely afterward, and with good cause might I add.
Unless of course, you really couldn't care less about them with their dick-fuckish ways and knob-shittish habits. If you really do want them to die sad, alone and miserable in a pile of their own shit surrounded by terminally diseased stray cats and rabid squirrells, then PLEASE be my guest! Lord knows how good it feels to vent your pent up anger and see your rage in Ariel font size 11 appear before your very eyes on a little screen in front of you. And yeah afterwards, you feel absolutely fantastic! (Though that might just be the 5 pints and bottle of vodka you just drained.) I was on the verge of driving to Buckingham Palace myself and requesting I be knighted, or at least given a medal for my services to my own self-respect!
Sadly, in the following days, I'd say about the point where you find yourself watching Calamity Jane, wishing Howard Keel was a good 70 years younger and crying onto the shoulders of your two favourite men Ben and Jerry, that's pretty much when the ecstasy wears off.
I'm doing this, girls, so you don't have to! Never send angry text messages to your bastard of a boyfriend. Especially when drunk.